As the Day Begins: Chapter 4
Chapter 4 - Jumping
"Dude, I feel for you," Tito Jon said after lunch as we loaded into his rented moving truck. "That's quite a messy situation you're in."
I shuddered. "Yeah, it's pretty much blown up our relationship."
The cold air nipped at me, making it hard to find the zipper on my coat. We were thankfully headed from Alta Vista to Bayshore, toward Tito Jon's new apartment on the ninth floor of some building. Brace yourself, it'll be a long day of moving.
"Damn," I muttered absently as he joined the congested traffic on the highway. "He's a good guy. Innocent. I didn't want to spoil what we had." Tito Jon made an indifferent sound, and it took a few silent moments before he spoke up.
"But...it wasn't that way later, right?" Tito Jon's face held concern; a rare emotion.
"No, it wasn't." I tapped my fingertips against the truck's glass window, watching them vanish as they traced the surface. Beyond, cars wound their way through the congested roads like ducks in a soupy stream.
It was weird being near Josh, knowing he'd spied on me and Rory that night. Work was pretty ordinary; we arrived at the office building to do our individual tasks. I still served as a distraction for Josh at the end of his shifts, but he carefully avoided my gaze as if it would embarrass him.
It felt off to tip-toe around Josh; there was a big wedge between us that almost killed me. But what could I do but avoid the issue? Confront him about his voyeuristic tendencies in the workplace? That would've been far more awkward.
However, following a few days, Josh marched up to me one day with his lanky legs seemingly skimming the sky, unsteady yet determined.
"Nate!" he called, motioning to me while sauntering over. As if we hadn't been awkward around each other for a couple of weeks. A wide grin spread across his face, and his eyes held a hidden secret.
"Hey, pal," I greeted, raising my drink towards him. "You've got some good news, right?" He approached, stopping in front of me and his bright expression broadended into a vista of excitement.
It was unusual seeing Josh smile, so I felt a pang of joy for him; I wanted my friends to be happy. I wanted...I wanted Josh, specifically, to be happy. But had to quash my runaway thoughts.
His warm brown eyes gleamed as he shared the scoop, "I have a date." My heart leapt for him as any awkward tension vanished immediately.
I hopped off the hood of my car, moving to embrace him, landing him a hard slap between his shoulders. "Bro! That's great news!" I seized him in a hug, then let go before he released me. I gazed back up and marveled at his beaming face. "So, tell me about him!"
He shuffled his feet, glancing away shyly. "Well, I met him...on...a dating app for bigger guys, actually." My breath stopped.
"Growlr?" The app I used. Why didn't I notice him there?
"Yeah...I guess...I mean, I'm not the most fit guy out there, and...you and a bunch of other guys have said Grindr has a bunch of mean people, so..." He shrugged helplessly, his eyes fixated on the asphalt. "Either way, the guys are attractive."
When Josh came over to me with his phone showing a guy's profile, I was surprised. It was like a movie scene where he presented it right away. I laughed, thinking it was a joke that he had found someone sexy looking. Turns out, he was right; the big guy in the picture was attractive.
"This guy is hot! I mean, you're not normally into meatheads," I said, chuckling. Josh seemed excited, ready to start his first date with this man. He was planning on going to Sushi and bowling at West Park. It was clear that he was more optimistic about this date than any he had with women before.
I tried to encourage him, even when he mentioned there was a chance it would go badly. "Just let me know if things don't work out, man. I'll kick his ass for you if I need to."
But his response surprised me. "Nah, you don't need to do that. I'll be okay, Nate." He gave me a hug, his arms solid, his chest soft and warm. "I really appreciate your support, man."
The next day, I received a message from him. It read, "Ugh, everything is bad," and then, "This was such a bad idea, man. Can I come over later?" This was not the response I expected. I went to his apartment with a basket of sushi. He greeted me with a case of beer, knowing I might get hungry.
"What's this?" I asked, pointing at the sushi.
"I got some to go," Josh replied. I could tell he felt ashamed. "I was gonna invite you over and I didn't want you to be hungry when you got here."
Josh told me about his terrible date. The guy wanted them to split the bill but also expected him to pay. Then he demanded to move in right away. So Josh stopped replying to his texts after that. He admitted it was funny watching the guy's frustration.
"He's still mad at me," Josh said sadly. "I expected to have sex, and I haven't lost my virginity yet. What do I do now?"
I didn't know how to respond. It was a delicate situation, like walking on eggshells. If I said, "Here, why don't you come to my place," it might look like I was reaching out to have sex with him. Instead, I asked, "Why'd you invite me over? And why didn't you give him privacy?"
He hesitated, looking away. Then, looking deeply into my eyes, he said, "I just wanted to lose my virginity tonight. But then, he turned out to be weird. I'm still horny." Apparently, Josh had not expected this to happen, and didn't know what to do now. I didn't know how to respond to him, except with reassurance, reminding him how much I cared.
"It's okay, Josh. Take it easy and don't be in a rush. You'll find someone else eventually."
He nodded and finished his drink. "You're right, I don't need to rush."
Despite how the date went, he still wanted to continue our friendship. "I just want to thank you for your support, Nate."
"Hey Nate, is there something you want to ask me?" he murmured, avoiding eye contact. His beer can swayed gently in his hand as he twirled it. "Have you ever thought about...me in a...a certain way?" He stared intensely, his focus fixed somewhere beyond me. Green, blue, and indigo hues began to illuminate his figure, creating a surreal dreamlike scene.
"I've definitely thought about it," I admitted with a smile, placing my hand on his knee. "When I see an attractive guy, it's instinctive to be attracted." He shifted his gaze to me, then away again.
"You think I'm attractive?" His voice was barely audible. His eyes were filled with nerves and anticipation.
"Yes, I do." I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I felt like I was about to embark on a journey into the unknown with Josh. The very thought made my heart race.
"I think you are too." His eyes were on the detail of the couch between us. His voice quivered. "When I saw you...that one time...I really...I found you quite attractive. To be honest...I've been thinking about it since that day."
My heart skipped. This was it. I felt like I was taking a giant leap off a cliff.
"Want to see me up close?" I inquired, craning my neck to look at him. He groaned, covering his face with his hands again. Eventually, I caught a faint nod. I chuckled. "What's the matter man, don't be so shy." I placed my hand on his.
"I'm just nervous." He looked up, his eyes eager yet unsure. The truth was, I was nervous too. I just didn't want him to see that. For the first time in years, I was feeling that exhilarating flutter in my chest, and I was welcoming it.
Josh's apartment had always been a messy living space we occasionally consumed beer in. But now, beneath the whimsical colors of his novelty lamp, it transformed into something else. An extension of him, a portrayal of his unique mannerisms.
Outside our world lay the distant sounds of human life in his building. Between us, the steady breath of two men about to embark on a new path.
Josh put his other hand over mine, his skin—a rich brown hue switching through various shades of the rainbow. To my amazement, several real tears were in his eyes. Automatically, I reached out to wipe them away.
"I'm sorry," he confessed, his jaw slightly twisted in turmoil. "This is my first time, and...and we're friends, Nate. I don't want to lose being friends, and I don't want our connection to just transform into a sexual one and...I just...I don't want to alter anything about us."
Josh revealed every truth to me, his words spilling out in a torrent. I squeezed his hands firmly. "Josh, you're incredibly important to me. We're not changing if you don't want to. I'll always be your friend." He nodded, gripping his lip between his teeth. "Okay? Nothing will change. You're okay?"
"Okay," he repeated, managing a weak smile. "I'm okay." He gently wrapped his hand around my waist.
Once again, I ignored him searching. Instead, I stood up, allowing his hand to slip free. His eyes remained transfixed on me as I started taking off my clothes. His eyes widened with eagerness as I removed my waistband, revealing my jockstrap—full and actual.
His hungry gaze was causing me to expand to my complete size of 7 inches. The outline of my erection became noticeable due to the changing lights.
"Wow..." he breathed shakily, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh my."
"Alright with you?" I questioned, my cock responding to my voice. I noticed Josh's gaze shift to my face and the intense longing in his eyes. I didn't want to push him away. I knew he was a virgin, so I had to let him make the calls tonight.
"Um, y--yeah, this is fine." I caught a glimpse of his hands fidgeting. I watched him intently as they moved towards me. "Nate, can I, like, touch you?" I nodded, giving him the go-ahead. His hands trembled as they reached for me. I moaned in gratification when he finally laid his hands on my cock for the very first time.
He massaged my package with gentle, large hands. He grasped and squeezed my heavy balls between his long fingers, amazed by their size. I let out a low groan and tilted my head back, offering him unrestricted access. I wanted him to explore as much as he wanted. And when he reached under my shorts to touch me directly, it felt electrifying.
His massive hands could encircle my shaft, and the heat from his touch made me lightheaded. I moaned loudly, letting him know how much he was turning me on. He shivered, unsure of what to do.
"Nate," he stuttered, barely audible. "May I see it?"
I placed a hand on his wrist. "Feel free to do whatever you want to me, Josh," I said sincerely. I reached into my jockstrap, helping him expose my erect member. Together, we encircled my cock; my hand on one side, his on the other. He caressed me with increasing intensity, savoring the experience. I closed my eyes and allowed him to do his thing. Josh's eyes darted from my cock to my face; his eyes had a glazed look, clouded with emotion. I bit my lower lip. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't want to frighten him.
But Josh made that choice for me. He stood up, surprising me. His height overshadowed mine and as he leaned in to kiss me, he had to bend forward. He let out a quiet whimper when our lips met for the first time. He tasted like toothpaste and lemonade - fresh, unexpected, lively. Like the first days of summer in October.
Initially, he was careful with our kiss, but then he deepened it. I could taste more of him, but I craved for more. I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him close. His hand moved over my shaft with more confidence, covering my cock in my precum. "Wow..." he gasped when he pulled away from me; "you're so wet."
As we kissed increasingly deeply, my hands drifted down his waist. I felt the soft curves of his body, warm and receptive. Josh moaned, then groaned into my mouth.
"This feels good, Nate," he murmured, his breath warm against my lips. His face was transforming with the sensations building in his lower body, and he leaned into me. I could feel his erection against mine within his shorts; it seemed long and grew longer as it hardened. Not as thick as mine, but still enticing.
I drew back slightly, — I studied his eight-inch cock hovering beside mine. His slender, almost black shaft had a large purple head similar in size to a small plum. I daydreamed about how it would feel inside me. I'd never bottomed, but he was tantalizing, trust me. Like melting ice, he moved closer into our kiss, and he was heating up underneath me.
I held Josh close to me, my body pressed against his. My cock continued to secrete precum onto his, while I held him, trying to keep him grounded. His cock got stiffer and stiffer as I held and encouraged him. I could sense he had a slightly rounded belly. Josh pulled off me, his expression demonstrating a combination of eagerness and confusion.
In the end, his hands found their way to my buttocks; he squeezed my cheeks lovingly, weighing them. While we fumbled with each other in his cozy living room, his desire and virgin inexperience contended with each other. He had some experience with men's bodies, but he was unsure what to do with my cock, simply stroking it at an unstable rate.
"What should we do next?" he asked, his guileless nature evident amidst the haze of arousal. "I really don't know where to even start."
"You're okay, Josh." I removed my hands from his butt, climbing back up his body, toward his chest. I smiled at him so he could see it was really alright. "Check out this fun and simple thing. Lie down on the couch." Excitement filled my mind, fueled by our foreplay. Josh relaxed, lying down, his eyes wide in anticipation.
Placing one of my large legs around his waist, I sat, kneeling over him. I laughed softly, looking at him sprawled out beneath me. "Do you know what frotting is?" Josh shook his head. "Wanna try it?" Seeing his cock twitch under me, oozing precum onto his thick pubic hair, I sensed his hesitation.
"I think so," he whispered. "Is there...anything going inside anything?"
"Nope, we're just rubbing our cocks together until it feels really good." He bit his lower lip, then nodded after a moment. I adjusted his cock against mine, watching him blink at his first real sex experience.
I admired the contrast in our sizes. Mine was shorter but nearly twice as thick. His, longer, with an impressive head. Completely opposite.
Using both hands, I stroked us simultaneously. Watching his expression, I could tell he was enjoying himself. He groaned, his legs trembling under me. He covered his eyes with one hand, opening his mouth to pant. To calm him, I picked up my shirt to keep it in place.
I alternated the pressure and speed, listening to him groan. Even when our cocks separated, Josh pushed them back together. His groans encouraged me, 'sweet music to my ears.' The wet slapping sound filled the air. I was still in awe that it was Josh I was having sex with, taking his virginity.
Watching him lick his finger coated with our fluids was captivating. Fascinated, I stopped to watch him lick his wet digit; he even went back for more. I resumed stroking us both, watching him taste our juices.
"Don't stop, Nathan," he pleaded, his finger still in his mouth.
So, I continued stroking, watching him taste our juices. I was mesmerized by his swirling tongue.
"You like this?" I asked breathlessly.
"Yeah," he gasped, moaning as I stroked over his fat, purple cockhead. A wicked smirk spread across his face as he gave me a sly stare. A broad grin stretched across my face as I saw him; I pushed our cocks together, stroking, stroking, stroking.
"The wet slapping sound filled the room. Thick, wet, and undeniable. My dick was constantly seeping precum by then, dripping onto Josh's. His pubic hair glistened under the blue light. He gave in to his moans as I watched him.
"Josh, you're doing great." I said with approval. "You're so sexy."
"Th--thank you," he breathed. Then, with his free hand, he licked more of our mingling precum from another finger. "But, Nathan, you have to stop," he insisted.
So, I continued, jacking us both off with increasing intensity. Watching him writhe beneath me thrilled me. To see his chest heave; his muscles flexing; his nipples firming and hardening. My hands ached to touch him. Instead, I watched with intense focus.
Josh's hips bucked, pushing me deeper into his balls. He gasped, groaning at my thrusts. Our fluids were exchanged, and I could feel myself approaching orgasm.
"You're doing amazing, Josh. So fucking sexy," I praised.
One of his hands traveled toward his pecs, squeezing them. "Yeah. I want to make you feel good," he said, seductively blinking at me. I nodded, honoring his request as I stroked him faster.
Seeing him rub his chest excited me. His breath was heavy as he bucked and twisted. "Pretend to fuck me back," I begged. He closed his eyes and thrust his pelvis, feeling me between his balls, and I groaned, my cock throbbing with impending climax.
"Josh, you're close," I warned, raising the intensity. His body writhed as he took us both closer and closer to the pinnacle of pleasure.
"I'm gonna cum, Nathan," he shouted, his hands clutching the couch. The fingers of one hand clamped tightly together and the other slipped under his waistband, his body convulsing as he experienced one of the most erotic sensations. And I relished it.
"Grip me tightly, Josh," I panted. He placed his hands on my hips and I moved my cock against his. I curled my fingers to form a hole around our dicks.
I had the ability to fuck wildly. However, I restrained myself for Josh's comfort. "Feels wonderful, right?" He grunted, his voice haggard. "Do you feel how I thrust like this? That's how I'll deflower you, Josh." His breathing caught in his throat. "That's how I'll fuck you for the very first time. Slowly. So you relish it." I moved against his cock, into my palm. He squeezed my hips and massaged my lower stomach.
I heard him murmur my name. His exquisite cock vibrated beneath me, oozing precum. Simultaneously, he grabbed my thighs, straightened his legs, and lifted us both up. A strained groan escaped him. He said my name, louder: "Nate!" And I made Josh climax.
Entranced by the scene before me, I observed Josh's cock twitch and throb, and a long, slow stream of cum spewed from him. One, two, and ultimately four shots of his thick, stench-ridden cum gushed from him, landing on his shirt. "Nate, Nate..." he was mumbling. The sight of Josh's face and entire body distorted in pleasure made my heart skip a beat, and I approached the point of bursting.
"I'm about to reach my climax now, Josh," I cautioned him, and as if by magic, I expelled ropes all over his shirt. My body shuddered violently as my orgasm tore through me. By the time I stopped ejaculating, his shirt and his groin were coated in white.
For a while after that, we were both labored in the room. The video ceased, awaiting interaction. The lamp was switching through colors. Josh's chest moved up and down, and up and down. His hands twitched on my abdomen.
"Good grief, Josh," I was practically yelling out. "That felt staggering." I looked at him. His face was unreadable; his mouth gasped. His brows seemed to be joined together, unsure of what they were meant to be doing. "Josh?" My hands were out of position, resting on both our bodies, tainted by our respective ejaculations. "Are you okay, friend?"
"I...think I'm alright," he slurred, his features distressing to interpret. "Can I get up, please?"
I shifted over and stood up. Josh clambered from the sofa with a moan, leaving a wet mark on the fabric. "Josh--" I initiated, but he simply turned his head, heading back indoors. The lights stayed off. And they didn't flick on. Anxiety bore its way into the pit of my stomach along with beer and sushi. What the fuck...
I lingered for a long, agonizing few moments until I realized he wasn't coming out. "Josh," I yelled into the vast emptiness of his bedroom, my voice hushed. "Josh, what's the matter? Did I do something wrong?"
"No," he replied, his voice muffled, like his face was in a pillow. "I just...am exhausted. Sorry, pal."
My head, heart, and body were swiftly cooling down. All of a sudden, I felt like a strange, slimy intruder in this flat that was not mine. I considered speaking with him more, determining what was wrong. Instead, I decided to head to his kitchen, wash my hands, and dry them on my grubby shirt.
As I pulled on my trousers, I attempted to listen for any activity from Josh's bedroom. Silence. Not a whisper. I hesitated for a moment, thinking I might have heard the sound of his deep, ragged breathing, but perhaps I was just trying to believe it. I swallowed, and the sensation stung; tasted foul. Remnants of Josh's kiss lingered on my palate.
"I'll just leave now then," I called. Silence.
Not a single sound to justify my remaining in his home as an intruder. Before I could process and unravel the situation, I pounded out of his apartment. The door closed behind me as I trudged down the hallway. Nobody emerged after me. Josh stayed inside. My strides were heavy, following me as I departed.
I had felt magnificent, then I had felt unwell, all within seconds of each other, causing my head to spin. And a sinister voice echoed inside an ugly slice of me, screaming that I had just been used.
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