Chivalry is on Life Support Ch. 20
From the get-go, Brooke revealed to me that the idea of Luke enforcing, disciplining, and demeaning her sexually excited her tremendously. This fact didn't shock me one bit. As a former academic, I've always been attuned to the sexual connotations of men controlling other men in literature and history. Throughout history, the main objective of male domination has often been to woo, seduce, or conquer women; though it was not always the primary goal, it was a delightful side effect. There's something animistic about it, tracing back to the core principles of the food chain.
However, these power dynamics grow more convoluted, complicated, and erratic within the boundaries of human civilization. In society - purportedly advanced, yet frequently more primitive than we think - superior physical strength isn't always a surefire guarantee of male dominance. Intelligence, class, race, wealth, education, political power, and countless other variables come into play. In the annals of history, physically stronger men have not always triumphed over their physically weaker counterparts, despite the brawn of the gorilla alpha dethroning its weaker rivals. Quite the contrary, in fact. In societies, it has often been wealthier, better educated men who reign over the poor, less educated ones, even though the latter are typically more robust physically due to manual labor.
This paradigm even transpired in the traditional courtly love triangle where the physically stronger male wasn't always the winner. In this arrangement, the knight, stronger than the lady and her husband (a nobler, yet less enrapturing man), was nevertheless at a considerable disadvantage with regards to everything else but raw physical power. In courtly love literature, the husbands were often shown as old, tedious, unappealing, and oblivious to the relationship between their spouse and their ardent suitor. This phenomenon was referred to as "courtly cuckoldry" (despite most knights' and ladies' love affairs not reaching fruition). Nonetheless, it's crucial to acknowledge that trust would be a fragile commodity between a lady and hersuitor, and disastrous consequences could ensue if discovered by her husband. The predicament could be tough on the woman, but devastating or even deadly for the knight, thanks to his adversary's societal might.
The chivalric love triangle is distinct from the majority of cuckold relationships permeating history, including my own with Brooke and Luke. These liaisons offer up countless surprises, and the balance of power is oftentimes turned on its head. The fascination of cuckolding relationships stems from their diversity and intricacy, which is why they've been dubbed the intellectual fetish. In most cuckolding encounters, bodily strength undoubtedly plays a significant role. Consider D.H. Lawrence's "Lady Chatterley's Lover," in which a married lady, Connie, enters into a fiery romance with Mellors, the gamekeeper on her wealthy husband's estate, due to his husband, Clifford, being paralyzed from the waist down and incapable of sexually satisfying her.
In Lawrence's novel, there's a notable power discrepancy, with Mellors becoming the bedrock in Connie's bedroom. His mastery is mainly rooted in his physical supremacy (Connie affectionately notes Mellors' "lordly" and "proud" penis, for instance). Clifford, meanwhile, regresses to a state resembling helplessness in his dealings with his nurse, Mrs. Bolton (strangely, his power as an industrialist expands). There are countless accounts of cuckoldry, both in fiction and real-life, where the power dynamics are inverted, and humiliation frequently comes into play. Domestic help outdoing their employers, employees outmaneuvering their bigwigs, politicians subduing their political foes, barely college-educated plumbers seducing professors with PhDs from prestigious univbeforeces...the theme pervades.
Just like in Lady Chatterley's Lover, the spouse is frequently unaware that their partner is being unfaithful. But on the other hand, there are instances where the husband is fully informed about the affair and the connection between his wife and her lover(s). It's worth noting that in many of these circumstances, the spouse's acceptance of the affair is either implicit or explicit. This acceptance can take many forms, from a husband who enjoys watching his wife with other men without feeling the slightest bit humiliated, to a husband whose sexual interest in his wife has dwindled and doesn't want to deny her pleasure, to a husband whose participation in the relationship is voluntary but under duress, in fear of losing his wife if he doesn't agree, leading him to tolerate the embarrassment. There's also relationships where the husband is essentially under the control of his wife and her lover, where humiliation is their daily routine.
I also ponder the homosexual elements of cuckolding, which is a multilayered subject. There are indeed cuckolds and bulls who may be repressed homosexuals, viewing this type of relationship (where a woman is shared) as a more socially acceptable option or an alignment with their own identity. From my personal experience as a submissive cuckold, however, I think the primary eroticism emerges from the sadistic tendencies of the bull, the masochistic tendencies of the cuckold, and most importantly, the impact the relationship between the two has on the woman. Although it's been suggested that everyone has some degree of bisexuality, I believe that most people are overwhelmingly attracted to the opposite sex. I consider myself to be in this category.
However, I can't deny the arousal I experience while submitting to Luke – such as fluffing him, being punished by him, even worshipping his feet. I believe that this arises more from the impact my submission has on Brooke and my intrinsic masochism than from any sexual interest I have in Luke. I'm aroused both by the thought and the reality of Brooke's arousal, and if my submission to Luke leads to or increases her arousal, that alone makes it arousing for me to submit to him sexually. On a few occasions, Luke has made me perform oral sex on him when Brooke was out. Once, he even forced me to hump the toe of his boot through my tights while striking me with a riding crop (followed by licking his semen off his boot, of course). Was I still aroused? Yes, I was. Does challenging my theory? I don't believe so. Because I knew Brooke would likely be aroused if she found out about my submission to her lover, perhaps even more so if she knew I submitted to him even when she wasn't present, I considered myself her submissive knight, prepared to disempower myself for her a la Lancelot for Guinevere. The main distinctions were that my "battles" were almost always in the home, and my "battlefield" was rarely on the jousting field. But Lancelot's emasculation skills could not compare to mine.
As for Luke, I'm confident that he holds no fundamental sexual attraction to me, or most men, for that matter. Luke is innately sadistic. I'm absolutely positive that he's aroused by the influence his domination of me has on Brooke. Yet his arousal is mostly about control and power – something that appeals to him regardless of the gender of the person he's dominating. I'm sure he was untroubled by any thoughts about the homosexuality of being made to orally service him, as he was in the position of power; he would never have agreed to be the one on his knees (with me or any man, or woman, for that matter). In fact, he would soon call me "fag" as I engaged in the act of submission.
I previously told you about Luke's intense longing for his feet to be pampered and worshipped. Initially, I had no inclination toward men's feet, but I must acknowledge that Luke's feet were visually appealing, particularly for an athlete. His toes displayed a sculpted look, and his soles and heels were remarkably smooth and unblemished. It's plausible he indulges in professional pedicures. Still, it didn't align with his overall masculine persona, which made it challenging for me to picture it. Nonetheless, after learning about my foot care skills, Luke was delighted with me performing them frequently. In fact, he became quite demanding about it. Moreover, he requested more than just foot massages.
Prior to Luke's entrance into our world, Brooke had encouraged me to write poems praising her feet (since reading Swinburne just gets repetitive) and reciting them to her while caressing her feet on my lap. Although I adore literature, I'm not a skilled poet, and I hesitated. But I couldn't deny any of Brooke's demands for long.
When Luke got informed about this, he demanded I create poems to glorify his feet. My debut lenient attempt:
The magnificent feet of my master
Serve as the tools of my disaster
As he treads upon my insular face
The exquisiteness of his pristine toes
Now the very reason my subject nose
Bows before his almighty command
Overwhelming olfactory achievements
Shatter my feeble resistance
As a futile effort to withstand his rule
So dutifully I lie down below
My master's awe-inspiring feet
Regrettably, I informed you it was subpar. But Luke appeared genuinely content. As a reward, he bestowed upon me a delectable Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. However, I had to drink nearly half of the glass from Luke's foot.
Watching Brooke and Luke walk off towards the bedroom, leaving me to finish the rest of my wine by myself, she looked like she was immensely satisfied.
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