Remain Stationary Point 1
I found myself in a horrible situation, and I didn't know how to react. Seeing my long-term boyfriend giving oral sex to another man in a club bathroom left me in shock. Initially, I thought about running away instead of confronting him, even though I knew it was all calculated. It felt like a betrayal and hurt a lot, as he never mentioned wanting to explore other options before.
Of late, he hadn't shown any signs of physical intimacy with me, which made me feel more betrayed.
On my way home under the continuous rain, I recognized that the sacrifices I had made and the things I had given up for us were for nothing.
Despite all this, I'm not against trying new things to make our relationship work. I just can't stand lies and pretending everything is fine when it's clearly not.
Midway through my journey home, I realized I didn't want to go back to the apartment where we had been living together. The memories of a happy life seemed in stark contrast to the pain of our relationship coming apart.
As I waited for the traffic lights to change, I gazed up at the Sydney Tower. I shifted my gaze towards home and opted for a different route.
Knowing that I needed distance from all this, I sought someone who would understand my situation. I picked up the phone and dialed my brother's number.
He answered, sounding a bit groggy, probably awakened by my call. I didn't feel bad about that.
"What's wrong, Lee?" He sounded worried. My voice failed me at that moment, and tears suddenly filled my eyes.
"I need..." My words misfired and I clutched back the tears.
"Where are you? Do I need to pick you up?" His tone was concerned. I diminished his worry.
"I'm nearby. Just make some tea, please?" I sniffed, tears flooding my face.
He sighed, "Are you sure you don't need me to come and get you?"
"I'm sure, Matty," my voice faltered.
It had been a while since I called him that. He must have sensed something was amiss.
"Please, Lee. Just come here, okay?" His anxiety was evident in his voice, and I regretted triggering it. I knew he was always there for me.
My brother has been my constant support, even when our conservative parents struggled to accept our sexuality. We shared countless nights indulging in terrible pizza and watching TV shows while sitting on the old couch. I moved in with my then-partner after that, but Matty found a new apartment that needed fixing. He was becoming more successful with his career, so he bought a studio in a posh neighborhood.
In one of our first visits to his new place, I was his first guest. I still possessed a spare key.
I longed for the good times in my life, but right now, I needed a family member's protection and support.
My brother was all I needed in this situation. He's been by my side both in the good and bad times, always backing me, even when our conservative parents couldn't accept our gayness, and when we moved to the city for a much better life.
We spent countless nights eating bad pizza and watching TV shows on the comfy couch before my ex and I moved in together. I found a new apartment, and helped Matty find one for himself. Lately, matty had gotten more successful than me with his career, so he bought a studio in a nicer part of town. He had fixed it up, and everything was in perfect working order.
Despite these good times in my life, the images of that night flashed through my mind.
Upon spotting his building a distance away, I took out my phone again and rejected my brother's call. Instead, I noticed someone waving at me. He'd emerged from his building carrying an umbrella and was hurrying towards me.
"Are you okay?" Matty asked, wrapping his arm around me and granting us shelter under his umbrella. He guided me back to his apartment's entrance.
His embrace felt comforting.
He shut the umbrella, then took a look at me. I'm sure he could see me drenched and probably a mess from the rain, but under the wet surface, my eyes were filled with tears and disappointment. My eyes must've looked red, and I'm certain I appeared awful. But Matty placed a hand on my cheek, touching me gently and with so much affection that I started to cry even more.
"I've got your tea ready. Let's help you change into some dry clothes."
I only nodded as he guided me towards the stairs. Our steps echoed along with the sound of water dripping from my clothes. Now, the adrenaline had worn off, leaving me shaking and completely cold.
Matty opened the door for me, dragged me in, and shut it behind us. He dropped the umbrella near the entrance.
"You need to get that off," he stated, pulling my jacket away from me.
My voice hadn't returned yet, so I lent a hand in helping him remove my clothes. I didn't feel embarrassed by this, given the current situation.
I hesitated before stripping off my underwear, but it too was wet.
"Take it off; I'll bring you something to wear," Matty instructed, solving the issue for me. Matty kissed me on my damp hair and then left me by the door.
I removed my boxers and, instinctively, shielded my small, shriveled penis.
At least his place was warm and inviting. The perfect cozy haven.
When Matty returned with sweatpants, a hoodie, and a towel, I sighed with relief.
"Just dry yourself, put these on, and I'll bring your tea to the bed."
He made a point of averting his gaze as he left to hang the towel. I started drying myself.
Matty had transformed his studio into a small, yet spacious living space. It housed a tiny kitchen corner, a walk-in leading to his bathroom, and a bigger room containing a circular table with a red and blue chair, an exquisite futon bed he likely ordered from Japan, a coffee table, and some decorative plants. The ideal minimalist haven.
I had put on my pants and hoodie by the time he returned to the main area. The trembling persisted, and the prospect of tea sounded quite comforting.
"This place looks fantastic," I commented. "Why haven't I visited more often?"
He handed me the cup of tea and asked for the towel with his hand, intentionally avoiding my gaze. "You tell me," he said, choosing to leave me alone.
Matty then lurked behind me. Without uttering a word, he dried my hair, causing me to shiver once again - not just from the cold.
I took a sip from my tea. It was plum, my favorite.
He massaged my scalp deliberately and my eyes begrudgingly drifted closed, trying to suppress the thoughts that kept creeping in. It felt so good that I was startled when he stopped.
"Let's sit down." He held my hand leading me to the futon. However, he left me there and headed to hang the towel.
I made myself comfortable. We leaned back against the numerous pillows against the wall.
I couldn't help but wonder how Matty managed to create such a charming sanctuary for himself. It felt wonderful in this haven, a world away from reality.
As Matty took a seat beside me, he laid his hand on my leg. We snuggled up against the pillows.
"Want to talk about what happened? Tell me you're not physically injured," Matty inquired, applying pressure to my leg.
I knew that if I said yes, he would most likely search for the other person.
"Not physically."
Matty exhaled gently. His hand moved in a random pattern on my leg and I eventually let go, relaxing. Matty's actions reminded me of the times we'd fought life together, as kids. As we'd gotten older, we'd become much stronger, yet these past years shaped us into the men we'd become. We knew one another like the back of our hands, and shared countless experiences.
I was too well-acquainted with Matty, and the affection others had for him when it came to sex sometimes made me feel like a third wheel.
Nullifying what I was thinking, Matty snaked a hand behind my head, guiding my eyes towards him.
"Tell me what happened," he urged, his quiet voice commanding me to talk. "And maybe you'll feel better."
I couldn't hide the truth any longer.
"I saw Tyler with another guy."
Matty's face hardly twitched. "I take it that's not a usual thing between you two," he speculated.
I affirmed, "We've never discussed it and I never anticipated anything like this, you understand? We haven't been particularly close these past weeks, but..." All of a sudden, I felt as if I'd wronged him, and I started reviewing our shared moments.
What was lacking in me?
"Hey," Matty beckoned me. "I don't believe this is your fault, okay?" His voice was attempting to reason with me, yet I sensed it was having limited success. "Come here."
He gestured toward his chest. I accepted the invitation and placed my tea on the nearby coffee table before turning to lay my head on him.
This felt right.
I nested my face in his shirt. Matty was significantly larger than me, and his arms held me in a comforting embrace. I wished I could simply stay there for a moment... or even years. My sibling was my everything. Perhaps I occasionally overlooked that, but I could see it now. I wish I hadn't sought in other men what I couldn't have from him.
He was more than sufficient for me. Despite the uncertainty of whether I was enough for him.
"You're a wonderful individual, you know that?" Matty whispered to my ear, his voice sending shivers down me. "Anyone who fails to see that is just a fool. And I'm not sorry for stating that."
I chuckled slightly, and the situation improved.
I glanced up at him. Matty gazed back at me.
He was flawless.
His damaged grin and compassionate eyes, the way only he could gaze at me at that moment.
"I wish sometimes you weren't my brother."
I smiled sadly, but I didn't want to have revealed that.
I tried to avert my gaze, but one of his hands thwarted me.
"Why do you say that?" Matty inquired, his gaze burning into mine. "Never say that, Lee. You're everything to me. And I'd do everything for you. Everything. Do you comprehend?"
I wasn't certain I did.
But his eyes were pulling me in, like a black hole.
I was convinced I'd disappear into nothingness if it meant being with him.
"You know I adore you, right?"
His lips neared my mouth. I anticipated a passionate kiss, but he primarily whispered, "I love you." I felt inundated by these sentiments.
I pushed him away, because I needed to breathe.
The silence was pronounced between us.
I could see so much affection in his eyes. I desired to provide him with all that love in return.
"Are you content with what just transpired?" He inquired of me.
I wasn't, not entirely. But possibly not for the reasons he supposed.
I said nothing, but I returned his kiss, twisting to face him, straddling his lap so that I could wrap my arms around him. Matty assisted me in sitting up, also increasing his own comfort level, spreading his legs to facilitate my position.
We interlocked as if two jigsaw pieces. Our mouths seemed to yearn for merger.
He tasted like home to me. His hands healed me of the pain I'd felt. It seemed improper in this space, at this time, but I'd never felt more alive than at that specific instant. Any other experience paled in comparison to my brother. He was all I required.
And he needed me as well, since I could feel the desperation of his hands sliding down my back, covering my ass, and exerting such pressure that I thought he might injure me, but Matty wouldn't.
I was confident he wouldn't hurt me.
"You know what?" I said more to myself than him, withdrawing his mouth. Our gazes encountered. "I wish to try something," I voiced, yet no further words emerged. I was frightened of the ramifications of uttering them.
"Anything you want," Matty guaranteed me, projecting such faith in his eyes that I knew this was his gift to me.
I nodded, then extricated myself from his lap only to kneel in front of him. Providing recompense through this means seemed tawdry, but I didn't care. Perhaps I was manipulating my brother, but when I witnessed the fervor of his gaze, he didn't need my words to perceive my intentions.
I discarded his pants and underwear, freeing his erection. Matty helped me by raising his hips from the bed. I'd observed him naked previously, and when we were younger, we'd occasionally masturbated together.
However, this was different. It was a step beyond anything we'd ever undertaken, but it also felt like the most logical conclusion we'd ever made.
I didn't feel uneasy at the moment. When I cast his pants aside and throned between his legs, I encircled my fingers around the base of his penis. It was warm and it was a considerable weight in my palm. I wasn't frightened, no: I was invigorated. The pain I'd endured earlier was fading into the background. And it would resurface later, but at that point, I had something to ease my discomfort.
Maybe I was utilizing my brother. But I'd permitted him to utilize me as well.```
Closing my eyes, I leaned forward and opened my mouth wide. My tongue came out to lick him around the head. Matty tasted sweet but had a masculine flavor.
He moaned softly as I went deeper, swirling my tongue around and then getting the whole shaft into my mouth.
I'm no stranger to sucking cock, so I took him deep down my throat, burying my nose in the hair at the base of his penis. This felt like home, even more so when he placed a hand on the back of my head and pushed gently.
Air? What's that? I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, tried to inhale anytime I could, but mostly I just enjoyed the sensation of being filled.
When it was becoming too much, I let a little bit of him out, just enough to breathe, but never let him leave my mouth, initiating an up and down motion.
"You're so good, Lee," he groaned, and hearing him call my name sent shivers down my spine.
I reached around and placed my hand on top of his on my head, signaling that he could use me however he wished.
And I became just a hole.
Matty started fucking my mouth, and I allowed it. Considering the person who was supposed to be my boyfriend didn't know what to do, Matty definitely knew how to use me.
And boy, did he use me.
His movements were relentless, and eventually they became very erratic, one might even say animalistic as others have described him. But this was Matty with me, and not with anyone else. Now he was just mine.
I trusted him because Matty was my brother, and maybe the love of my life, in spite of everything.
My cock was rock hard in the pants he'd given me, but I didn't need to touch it. I needed nothing more than him.
As I felt him starting to lose control, ready to cum, I simply gave him the go-ahead. I let him fuck me as hard as possible, thrust as deep as he would go, spit dripping from my mouth, tears welling up in my eyes, but these were good tears.
He fucked me as no one else ever could. My jaw ached, but I'd take him all night.
"I'm about to come," he warned, and shortly after he pulled me close, thrusting his whole penis into my throat and allowing his cum to erupt within me. My cock jerked, and with shaky fingers I reached inside my pants for it.
I might have blacked out for a second, because the next thing I knew my head was resting on Matty's leg, and his hand was caressing my cheek. I could see him smiling at me.
"I love you," I whispered. Now my voice was rough.
He remained silent, but I knew he'd give me anything if I asked.
And perhaps I should.
"Can I stay?"
He agreed.
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