The Journey of a Findom Dependent
The allure, the longing, the climax, and the regret
Chances are you've encountered a similar situation at some point in your life - not the normal you we're talking about, but the "can't resist the urge" you, the "thinking about how amazing it would feel to send" you. Something compels your body, your mind, and you begin to fantasize about submitting to a woman, yearning for her control, even her manipulation. Your thoughts shift to anticipating the exhilaration of sending money while lurking in the shadows. You haven't executed a payment yet, but congratulations, you're already caught in the cycle of findom once more.
If you're unfamiliar with findom, it's essential to educate yourself and reading any posts you aren't familiar with.
The intricacies of a findom addiction aren't openly discussed (let alone studied), but many findom submissives find themselves entangled in a compulsive behavior. Unfortunately, those in need of help for their addiction are often met with negative assistance, such as "close Twitter and move on." Luckily, as a findomme, I support findom and practice it in a way that aligns with my boundaries and values. My goal is to help submissives better understand the full picture of the findom addiction cycle to be more effective communicators with their dommes and make educated choices about their lifestyles.
This article encompasses my personal opinions (as they are not to be considered professional advice), and I'll cite resources referring to the neuroscience of addiction studies conducted by the Tampere University in Finland and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (USA) at the end.
The addiction
Indulging in findom addiction isn't so different from substance addiction (at least according to neuroscientists), as the neural pathways involved in reward activation in the brain are similar. Addiction cycles have already been analyzed and explained. It begins with abstinence, followed by a trigger that generates a craving, which then leads you to seek out those stirring interchanges that will bring you that cathartic numbing moment. It's like dancing between fulfillment and despair.
Think of it as a roller coaster experience. You board the ride because of the adrenaline rush, and as it starts to gain momentum, you start seeking out a findom you wish to gift money to. You're drawn to those who possess that "special quality." You imagine the exciting sensations that await, fantasizing how satisfying it'll be to send funds to this new Domme. The ride hits full speed as you reach the peak, ready for that climactic big spend, and then it's a free fall. The dopamine release leaves a void, and suddenly you find yourself questioning why you made the decision.
The intricate findom cycle in detail
Step one: A fascinating high beckons - The trigger
Triggers range from a word to a specific day, a sense of stress. The dopamine-inducing findom practice becomes embedded in your neurological pathways when these triggers emerge, prompting you to consider and remember your past experiences with it.
Another kind of trigger: "stimuli"
Stimuli are triggers like a command, an online platform, or a Domme. Your brain learns to associate these stimuli with findom's pleasurable effects, leading to cerier urges to reconnect with findom. These craving urges are known as positive reinforcement. Exposure to specific types of women, places, or things previously linked to the practice can stimulate your desire to return to findom.
Triggers spur cravings
The hunt for a new Domme begins.
Also known as "the preoccupation/anticipation stage," this is when an addict thinks about engaging in findom activities after a break. Submitting to foundom again also brings up "cravings."
In other words, the "curious cat" within you transforms into the "I NEED IT NOW!" version of yourself.
Triggers result in craving, and now the hunt is on.
Step two: The struggle between your desires and your reason
Studies argue the "wanting" phase is the brain's overpowering wish to findom once again. At this stage, you may even experience intrusive thoughts or fantasies, struggling to resist the strain between your longing for findom and your desire to control that craving.
During this stage, your brain enters a worry loop, obsessing over everything to do with findom. This way, the mere idea of findom activities reactivates the dopamine cycle once more.
Step three: The quick release to satisfy that high
Fleeing from self-control, you seek out and engage in the findom interaction, attempting to alleviate the overwhelming "wanting" stages you've been experiencing for a while.
Step four: The plummet, the regret, and the cycle starts anew
Upon finding relief, you feel a momentary euphoria. However, that temporary satisfaction is rapidly followed by regret for your actions, leaving you questioning your behavior. And soon, the cycle repeats itself.
The result? A continuous cycle of intense urges, indulgence, ultimate disappointment, and recurring relief-seeking.
Citations:
- Tampere University, "Financial Domination: An Explorative Study on the Findom Phenomenon," study.com, https://www.study.com/academy/lesson/financial-domination-an-explorative-study-on-the-findom-phenomenon.html.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Facing Addiction in America: The Surgeon General's Report on Alcohol, Drugs, and Health, samhsa.gov, https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/treatment-opioids/face-addiction-in-america-exec-summary-508c-2018-sgr-18-facing-addiction-lists-resources-secondary.pdf.
In the craving stage, the brain's ability to organize thoughts, manage tasks, make decisions, and control actions, emotions, and impulses is weakened. This might explain why you feel like a powerful "demon/beast/entity" is taking over you.
Welcome to the peak point – the Binge/Intoxication stage.
When you finally give in, you'll experience what professionals call: Binge/Intoxication, the moment when you compulsively engage in findom activities and enjoy their rewarding or pleasurable effects (the roller coaster train reaching its highest point).
You need to escape, you have an urge to put an end to it, as thinking and rationalizing about your actions during this stage would only ruin the experience and prevent you from reaching climax.
The rewarding effects of a findom practice, such as releasing sexual tension or having a mistress interact with you, tend to decrease over time. This is known as tolerance and might lead to heightened findom encounters, risk-taking, more frequent findsom, or even more money sent in an attempt to experience the initial level of reinforcement.
As the findom practice progresses, the repetitive activation of the "habit circuitry" in your brain results in compulsive seeking and the behavioral pattern known as an addiction. It's a downhill spiral from this point on.
Ritual behavior as part of a compulsive findom addiction
Ritual behaviors are actions, thoughts, or ideas that addicts partake in as part of their addiction. Once ritual behavior starts, it becomes challenging to step away from it. In a way, ritual behavior can be seen as a preparation for engaging in fulfilling the compulsion. For instance, a findom addict might start browsing through findom goddesses and fantasize about sending money and being used.
The longer a person is involved in such behavior, the more challenging it becomes to stop the cycle.
The consequences: feeling remorse
Why do I keep doing this? What will others think of me? I said I was quitting!
A findom practice that goes against your inner boundaries frequently brings feelings of guilt – which is normal as many slaves don't fully understand their own boundaries. Some may even feel ashamed of their actions.
Guilt can set in immediately after engaging in findom practices. In this stage, the addict feels guilt for acting out. This guilt then pushes the addict further into the cycle.
Sometimes, even guilt from past actions can trigger the cycle, taking the addict from craving, ritual behavior, indulgence, and back to guilt.
An addiction cycle can unfold over days, weeks, or even hours. Although the specifics may vary, the addiction cycle usually intensifies as time passes.
Characteristics of a perfectly addicted person
Impulsivity
A lack of resistance to the urge to send to a mistress, difficulties delaying gratification, and impulsive decision-making. It's a tendency to act without considering consequences and prioritize immediate rewards over long-term goals.
Compulsivity
The repetition of behaviors despite harmful consequences and behaviors that don't appropriately fit the situation. People with findom compulsions often feel compelled to perform those actions. Doing so reduces tension, stress, or anxiety.
Relapse: Why is it so difficult to quit?
During the withdrawal stage, a findom submissive who has been engaging in findom as a compulsion experiences unpleasant symptoms, such as negative emotions (e.g., depression, stress, or anxiety). This can lead the person to return to findom as a means of relieving these withdrawal symptoms.
Stress: Old habits die hard. If your brain has already formed a strong association between being used and alleviating stress, these behaviors can be challenging to break free from. Stress is a significant barrier to addiction recovery and may lead to a craving for escape.
Escaping reality: Making an attempt to flee from real-life issues is a significant component of the addiction cycle.
Moreover, finding pleasure in findom might impair your brain's ability to derive the same degree of satisfaction or pleasure from other enjoyable activities. In this case, after a period of abstinence, you may feel the need to return to findom to achieve the same level of fulfillment.
How to recognize if your findom practice is out of control
The cycle of addiction and the feelings of pain, guilt, and shame leave the addict stuck in a swirling downward spiral of deterioration.
Your relationships, job, and personal safety are typically affected by the repetitive processes of the addiction cycle.
The solution: Breaking free from the cycle
Understanding the addiction cycle, identifying and managing triggers, seeking help and support, and practicing mindfulness techniques can all help you break free from the cycle of addiction.
Recognizing and confronting your inner boundaries, finding alternative ways to cope with stress, and engaging in activities that provide similar pleasurable sensations are essential for maintaining control over your findom practices.
What boundaries do you have when it comes to a findom practice? (Please stop answering "I don't know.")
Identify the feeling that produces fascination with compulsive findom: The urge to suppress emotions is common among those with addictions. These individuals often react to this urge by engaging in a findom practice. The addiction process commences with a triggering event that sparks feelings, typically linked to pain. This painful trigger stimulates a longing to quell that emotion and the resulting discomfort. Have you identified your triggers yet?
Abstain from resisting the feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse: Reconcile your inner turmoil. Struggling with the version of yourself you're supposed to be while being your true self frequently leads to seeking validation from a Findom, often manifesting into role-playing scenarios where it's acceptable, if not expected. This validation helps you embrace the parts of yourself that you disregard or are ashamed of.
Many who are addicted have little experience effectively managing negative emotions, even those associated with humiliation fetish practices, yet they're still held back by a contradictory inner conflict between rejecting that persona due to societal taboo and the pleasure it brings. Learning relaxation techniques can assist individuals with addiction by impeding distractions and enhancing calmness, thus increasing self-awareness and making it easier to recognize and address emotional triggers before they instigate the addiction cycle.
Establish camaraderie with your addiction, ceasing the cycle of fleeing from it, feeling guilty about it, and embracing it. This shift in attitude allows awareness of your previously habitual conduct, marking the genesis of change.
Record your actions in a journal to disclose the concealed pattern.
Things to Avoid:
NO swap a findom addiction for another addiction.
Which leads us to:
Is there a "healthy way" of accepting and managing a findom addiction?
Seek out a Findomme who can aid you in handling your addiction:
To maintain an unconventional perspective, employing a Domme with experience in handling addictive behaviors might help you grasp your triggers, establish limits, and gain clarity on the core of your deeply rooted findom addiction.
Find strategies to incorporate this behavior into your primary identity. Find a Dominatrix who ensures a robust set of rules and structure and whom you trust to manage your impulses.
When you, as a submissive, comprehend your behavior, it becomes simpler to find the ideal Domme for a lasting relationship that imposes healthy boundaries regarding your addiction while also offering insight on your inexplicable desire that you must keep separate from your public persona.
Read also:
Source: www.nice-escort.de
