The Soft Boy Prison Ch. 04
Casper lay in his bunk in despair. His eyes were puffy from crying. It was after lights out. Holly lay in her own bunk facing the wall and seemed to be sound asleep. He wished he was too, but he couldn't. Not after the woman he loved had let him go like this. What was he to do, how could he go on from here. His whole world was in ruin and there were no tools to put it back together. He cuddled his pillow as tight as he could between his arms and legs despite the cuffs but he still felt so lonely. Why couldn't I have just got killed instead of being arrested that day, he thought.
He tried not to think about Jane, but it was hard. He closed his eyes and saw her pretty face, he saw the way she carried herself with such tenderness and authority, he remembered her curvy figure and mesmerising scent. He felt his chastity cage get tighter.
He wanted it off, it had not even been two days, but the cage was tormenting him. Anytime he saw or thought of something sexy, the cage quickly reminded him that he was forbidden from any kind of relief. He moved his hands still in the cuffs down to the cage and placed them around it. Even though he couldn't get much pleasure physically, it still felt fun and naughty that his dick was locked away and tightly secured. He rubbed his balls and played with the small padlock, if felt good. He wondered if he could still make himself cum despite it. He tried moving the head piece back and forth but it was difficult. His penis was as hard as it could get in it and there was no room for it to rub against the head. He thought about Jane, he imagined her big gorgeous bum sitting on his face while she smiled sadistically and teased his poor locked up penis. Casper used both his hands and tried to move it faster, it felt so good to rub himself while he was in his handcuffs. It felt so naughty, he was getting very horny.
"Are you doing what I fucking think you're doing?!" Holly's voice snapped him back to reality. He stopped immediately and was frozen with embarrassment.
"Errmm..." he said bashfully.
"Aw for fuck's sake Casper! What's wrong with you?! That's fucking gross. If I wasn't so shattered, I'd come over there and batter you!"
Casper felt guilty.
"Please Holly, I'm really sorry. I thought you were asleep. I didn't mean to upset you, honest. I tried to be as quiet as I could."
"Tried! You're about as subtle as a shite in a punch bowl. God!" she turned over in her bunk angrily. "What the hell is wrong with you men! You can't go five minutes without wanting to cum! Even being chained up and that chastity belt won't stop you. Why can't you have any self-control?!"
Casper looked down sadly, "Do you...do you hate men Holly?"
"Ha! Let me tell you a story Casper. When I worked at the docks in Greenock, we dealt with a lot of high-profile clients. Most of the time, the shipments and exchanges went without a hitch, it was my job to protect our clients the best I could."
"One day though there were a group of Americans who came to deliver a shipment of M16's. Proper sister-shagging Hillbillies. The client came on board the vessel to inspect the goods, I was standing about one hundred feet away, looking up at the clouds. Two seagulls flew in a circle overhead and I got a bad feeling, but I brushed it off. I should've listened to my gut."
"Next thing, I hear shouting from the boat, the client was upset that they had not provided the correct number of rifles. The Americans barked back at him. As it was my job to ensure everything went as smoothly as possible, I had to step in."
"The American captain I could see had a revolver in a holster and his hand was placed on it. Another one of his crew had a 12-gauge shotgun. I signalled over to my colleague Ian, who was perched on top of a nearby shipping container, to get his rifle ready. However, the yelling died down. Then, I hear laughter. I think tensions have dropped, until out of nowhere the captain pulls out his revolver completely unprovoked and blows the clients brains out."
"It wasn't like the movies or anything, as I'. Just a loud pop, and then he just dropped like a brick. I returned fire with my pistol but missed. A guy with a shotgun fires back and one of the bucks got me in the elbow,"
Holly showed Casper the scars on her elbow where the buckshot spray had hit her.
"I ran for it! Ian was firing too, but these Americans have been using their guns since they were born. They may be stupid, but they can shoot a lot more accurately than us. Ian got hit, I kept running and those bastards were on my tail. I knew the docks well, so figured I could lose them between all the shipping containers, but they were fast. I heard them taunting me as well, shouting stuff like 'C'mon baby, wait for daddy' or 'if you let us fuck you, we won't kill you'."
"I was running for my life, and they saw it as just some fucked up game. I fired behind me a couple of times when I could see them, but both shots missed and then my pistol jammed. After a while, I thought I lost them and hid in an abandoned site office."
"I hid under the table. It was quiet. I thought I was in the clear, until the door creaks open and one of those dogs was singing Mary Had a Little Lamb while the other two were laughing. They stepped inside and I figured I was dead meat, so I stood up slowly expecting shotgun guy to blast me into oblivion."
"...Might have been nicer if he did. They beat and then raped me. All three of them. More than once. Anally as well."
Casper was horrified.
"When they were done, I was unconscious. One of them shot me in the chest hoping to kill me, then they left."
Holly grabbed her collar and pulled it down exposing a large bruise on her chest with a point in the middle. Casper cringed in discomfort.
"The shot was too far over and those inbreds missed my heart completely. So, to answer your question Casper, yeah, I hate men. I hate what they did to me, I hate that every single fucking woman I've met has a story not too dissimilar from mine about them." she said through clenched teeth. She turned back to face the ceiling. There was a period of silence.
"I'm really sorry that happened to you" said Casper empathetically.
"Shut up." Holly said in an irritated tone.
"Does...does that mean you hate me too?" asked Casper.
Holly sighed. "I don't even know you Casper. I can't say I feel anything good or bad about you yet." She turned to face him then sat up and smiled. "But hey! Having a wank while I'm trying to sleep isn't the best start."
Casper felt guilty that he made Holly feel that way, he felt disgusting and perverted. He put the covers over his head. "I'm sorry" he said and sobbed into his hands.
"Are you crying? God! Guys in here are something else!" Holly turned to face the wall again. "Look Casper, I know you're sensitive, but you need to have thicker skin. I'm talking from experience. There are women in here that will pick you to pieces when they see it."
On the other side of the cell block, Mark sat up in his bunk. His cellmate Sean was asleep on the bunk above. His uniform top was lying on the floor next to him. In one hand he held a sharp piece of plastic he found in the yard. He was agitated and breathing heavily. He turned to look in the mirror above the sink and could just about make out his reflection in the dark. He whispered repeatedly almost as if in a mantra, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" The tension inside him built and built he couldn't take it anymore. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!" He swiftly pressed the plastic into the skin on his chest above his nipple and drew it across in a deep cut. He felt somewhat relieved and sat blankly staring into space for a while catching his breath. The relief slowly turned into darkness inside that felt as if he were being dragged down. He looked at his fingers, there was blood. He put his hand over the wound, then lay down on the bunk. There were scars all over his torso and arms.
The next morning was like the last. Casper was torn mid-dream from the alarm and the lights going on. "Shut up" moaned Holly from underneath her duvet. Casper felt his morning wood trying to stretch but being compressed tightly within the cage. He waited attentively for the guard to come and unlock his cuffs. The guard that arrived was the same one that had disciplined him the day before for forgetting his card. She smiled when she saw him.
"Morning, you sleep well?" she asked unlocking his cuffs.
"Not so bad, I suppose" he replied not looking at her.
"And how's the bum doing?" she asked.
"Better, it stung for a bit yesterday. But I've got my card in my pocket now."
She pinched his cheek lightly and shook it softly giggling "Good boy." The guard then turned over to face Holly. "C'mon you, get up!"
"Fuck sake" muttered Holly sitting up.
Casper went to the shower block to enjoy a nice hot shower, this time to its full potential, not forgetting to put on soap and shampoo at the start. When he went to wash his penis, he turned to face the wall. He was still too shy to do it in front of everyone else despite them all doing so. The guys he showered with today seemed a bit smaller on average than yesterday's lot. It made him feel a bit better about his own height. He noticed the other guy's chests, some were hairy, some had a little hair, and one guys had no hair at all. Casper was quite a hairy guy himself; he wondered if his hair was normal or if he should shave it. When he was with the thieves and they saw him without a top on in the hideout, they'd call him names like monkey or caveman. The guys here seemed to have a bit of variation, so it was good that he wouldn't stand out.
After showering, Casper headed for breakfast. While in the queue, he noticed that people were sitting down with bowls of porridge and sliced apple. He was disappointed. He thought he'd be having a full breakfast again. He liked porridge anyhow but missed the way his mum would make it. When he got his tray and porridge he looked around, trying to see if he could spot Mark or Tom.
"Casper over here!" a voice he didn't recognise called out to him. He turned around and saw a woman with long black hair smiling and waving at him. Next to her sat Holly and another girl. Holly was covering her eyes with her hand. He walked over carefully and sat down across from Holly.
"Hi, I'm Louise. Holly said you're her new Swedish cellmate." she said playfully. She had a northern Irish accent.
"I'm only half Swedish, I'm Scottish first and foremost."
"Do you know your way about IKEA then?" asked Louise. Casper laughed gently.
"I used to love going there with my Mum and Dad actually, but I don't really speak any Swedish anymore if that's what you're referring to."
"Well, I'm from Ireland. Only been in Scotland for as long as I've been locked up here."
She indicated over to the girl sitting next to him, "This is Erin by the way, Holly's girlfriend."
"Nice to meet you." she said, shyly turning to face him. She wore glasses and had shoulder length blonde hair. She was pretty and seemed kind and pleasant.
"Holly pointed you out and I thought we'd introduce ourselves." said Louise.
Holly was annoyed. "I didn't think you were going to call him over!"
"Oh, cheer up girl, you live with the lad! Getting to know him a bit wouldn't hurt, would it?" said Louise. Holly rolled her eyes.
"How are you finding everything so far?"
"I mean, other than being an empty and broken man, I do admit that I'm impressed with this place so far. It's nothing like what I thought prison would be like. All the staff are nice, yet firm and professional. The food is amazing, it's very clean and seems to run quite efficiently." Casper heaped a spoonful of porridge in his mouth.
Louise looked at him with concern. "Aw, poor Casper. I know what you're going through, we all felt the same when we came here initially, but once you get into the swing of things, it's not as bad as you think. Do your time, don't let your time do you. A quote I heard from someone here that I live by. What is it you're down for?"
"He was in an armed group of thieves." Holly interrupted. "He's a banger like us."
"Banger?" Casper asked confused.
"Yeah, folk who were in gangs or paramilitaries who had guns. It's a word we use in here. What was your weapon?" asked Louise.
"Glock 19." said Casper. "I kept it for emergencies but never actually ended up firing it at anyone, the only thing I ever shot were bottles for practice."
"Oh, I've never used a Glock myself! I carried an Armalite AR-15. I fired it at plenty of bastards who deserved it." said Louise.
"Mine was a Browning 9 millimetre." said Holly.
Casper turned to Erin. "Were you a banger as well Erin?" She looked down in shame.
"She ran over her wee cousin by accident." said Louise. "Had to head out to work while the cousins were over, wee one was playing out in the driveway. Reversed without seeing her." Erin was visibly upset. "So, her daddy obviously full of grief wanted some sort of justice. Despite it being his niece and an accident, he still pressed charges. That's how our Erin is with us."
"That's awful." said Casper.
"It's not all bad, she got to meet me after all!" said Holly, picking up Erins hand and softly kissing it. Erins expression changed to a smile looking back at her.
"Where are you from then Casper?" asked Louise.
"Erm, I'm from Glasgow, and you?"
"I'm from Belfast." said Louise.
"Troon initially for me, and Erins from Montrose." said Holly.
"I think my Dad went to Belfast. When he was in the army." said Casper.
Louise's demeanour turned from playful to serious in an instant. She stared at Casper vengefully.
"So, your daddy, was one sent over to oppress us Irish people?" Holly looked at her concerned.
Casper felt intimidated, he looked down in discomfort. "I...don't know, he barely ever spoke about his time there. It was over 40 years ago now. I wasn't born yet."
"Louise is in the IRA". Holly stated.
"Have you heard about us Casper?" asked Louise still staring him down.
Casper was scared. He wondered if Louise was one of the women Holly warned him about. If so, why were they friends, he thought.
"Yes, I think he said something about them, but I don't remember."
"Do you know anything about us Irish people Casper? Do you know our history, what Britian did to us?"
"Hey! Hey! that's enough" said Holly putting her hand on Louise's shoulder. "Louise, his dad's dead. He wasn't close with his dad, in fact his dad used to beat him, and even if he was close with him, it wouldn't matter. However you think his dad wronged your people, that's not on him. Just back-off will you?"
Louise continued to stare at him menacingly. Casper didn't feel welcome.
"I think it might be best if I leave you to have your breakfast without me." said Casper.
"Smart boy" said Louise coldly.
He stood up with his tray and went to find somewhere else to sit. He was distressed. He didn't bother trying to find someone else and just settled for the first empty seat he saw. He sat down next to a group of guys and finished his porridge; it wasn't as nice as his mum's; it wasn't as creamy nor as sweet as she made it.
Casper's heart sank again when Jane walked into the hall, she made the work announcement. Casper didn't dare look at her, he just listened, but even her voice made him upset. Caspers work group was on kitchen duty today, after breakfast he assembled with his group in the kitchen as soon as Jane left. He washed his plate then stayed put waiting for the others to join him.
Tom greeted him with a smile "Morning mate" he said patting him on the back. "Good to see you again, sleep well?" Casper looked off to the side and nodded.
"Good. The Kitchen shift can be a pain in the arse, it's the longest. We'll be here until dinner."
There goes my day then Casper thought.
"We've a stereo here, so it's not so bad. You can borrow CD's from the library and I've brought some with me." Tom moved his hand up slightly showing he was carrying a plastic bag. "What music do you like?" he asked.
It had been a long time since Casper had listened to most of his favourite bands. During the war, when he lived with his grandmother at the cottage, there was no Wi-Fi, and they couldn't stream anything. He was at the mercy of whatever was broadcast on the radio. By the time he had returned to Glasgow, the last thing on anyone's mind was music. The focus was always survival.
He remembered when he was with the thieves that Molly had a CD player that eventually stopped working. He remembered that she would listen to Death Metal bands with names like Immolation, Dying Fetus, and Decapitated. Most often, just before they headed out on an expedition to put herself in the right mindset for the bloodshed and violence. Casper didn't like extreme Metal like that though. The last time Casper had listened to any of his favourite bands regularly was before the war. It took him a minute to think back to the ones he used to really like.
"I really like Rock and Metal bands like Linkin Park, Blink 182 and System of a Down." he said.
"Linkin Park?" Tom said curiously. "I've not heard them in ages. I used to really like that song In the End. I'm more of an Indie kind of guy myself. I'll show you what I've brought with me." Tom reached into his bag and pulled out a handful of CD'S. He presented them to Casper individually. "R.E.M, Artic Monkeys, Arcade Fire, Joy Division, and Depeche Mode."
Those are the kind of bands my dad would listen to thought Casper.
"Do you think there's one you'd like?" asked Tom. Casper thought for a minute.
"I think my dad liked R.E.M, I remember a couple of their songs. Maybe that'll be a good one."
"Brilliant! I'll see if I can put it on first. Though I'm not sure if anyone else has brought music with them, we'll see."
The kitchen got less and less busy as the other prisoners finished cleaning their dishes and headed off to their specific work locations. The rest of Caspers group showed up and talked amongst themselves. The kitchen was a mess, there were oats all over the floor, dirty trays and cutlery strewn around.
"If we're starting kitchen shift now, did the guards cook breakfast?" asked Casper.
"Yeah, breakfast needs to be prepped from about 5.30am. They want all of us prisoners getting up at the same time, so breakfast is prepped and served by the guards. Though it's up to us to do everything else." replied Tom.
The kitchen here was a lot bigger than the one Casper worked in when he was a teenager. Seeing a large serving kitchen like this brought home a lot of bad memories of the long back-breaking and thankless shifts he put in at the restaurant. He was already dreading it.
A guard stepped into the kitchen and addressed them, "I believe we have a first timer here on kitchen duty today" she said. She inspected her clipboard. "Casper! Where are you?" she looked up.
Tom grabbed Casper's shoulders gently shaking him from side to side, "That's the man here!" They all laughed. Casper felt humiliated.
"So, if no one got there before me, kitchen duty is the only shift that lasts all day until dinner. You'll prepare and serve lunch, then dinner, followed by a thorough clean of the kitchen and the mess hall."
The guard then went through the register to confirm everyone's presence. She continued once she could see they were all there. "Today's lunch menu is Scotch Broth with a slice of bread, and tuna sweetcorn sandwiches for the out of block workers. Dinner is mince and tatties. Does someone want to show Casper the ropes today?"
"I'll sort him out." said Tom.
"Okay, brilliant. Any questions Casper, ask Tom or come find me. I'll just be out in the hall doing some paperwork. As for you lot, you know the drill, let's go!"
The guard left the kitchen and the prisoners discussed who would do what. Tom, Casper, Andy, Taylor and Mandy would bake the bread, while Liam, Scott, Kathrine, Roslin and Willy would make the soup. Caspers group started by cleaning the work area, then making the bread dough. They used the same ingredients for the pizza bases from the day before and made enough dough for ten loaves. Before the loaves could bake, they needed to rise for a while, so Caspers group went to help the others prepare the soup in the meantime.
Casper was peeling and chopping onions when Shiny Happy People by R.E.M started playing on the stereo. He hadn't heard this song for almost 20 years, he recognised it from the long car journeys to and from Sweden in the summer holidays. It transported him back to that time before the war, when he was part of a happy family and the whole world seemed to glow with wonder and excitement. He wished he could go back.
"This song making you a bit emotional?" asked Tom.
"No, it's just we're working with onions." Casper snapped back.
"Sure man, the onions." Tom laughed.
"No seriously!" Casper laughed back.
When the doughs had risen, they placed them in the moulded baking trays to bake in the oven. The oven had a window so Casper squatted in front of it so he could watch the loaves rise, since all there was left to do now was wait for them to cook. Tom sat next to him and looked into the oven as well.
"Don't know why you find this sort of thing interesting mate, it's so slow, you're not going to notice anything." he said.
Meanwhile, Casper stared at the loaves in wonder. It really was amazing, he thought, that those dry ingredients with some water made such fluffy and lovely smelling bread. It made him think of how some of the best things he experienced in life were fundamentally simple things formulated in a certain order.
"You have to watch a while, then you start to notice it rise." said Casper. "It's beautiful."
Tom looked at Casper, his face was lit by the orange glow of the oven and his eyes full of wonder and excitement. It made him think of a traveller from a mythical tale, looking into the fire thinking about the journey and the future that lay ahead with its endless possibilities. This guy is something else, Tom thought. He began to look at the loaves too, and after a while noticed them forming more and more. Soon, he was engrossed in it just as much as Casper was and they both sat staring until the timer went off suddenly making them jump.
When they pulled the loaves out, the smell combed Caspers nostrils, it was magical. They let the loaves cool for a few minutes, then sliced them. It was now 12.15pm, and time to get ready for service. Tom persuaded Casper to serve the soup with him to help him overcome his shyness. He was nervous about it at first, but once he did it a few times he felt more confident. He took great care trying not to spill any soup, especially while serving the guards. During service Mark appeared in the queue and Casper was happy to see him.
"Casper, you're on kitchen duty today! How are you finding it?" asked Mark
"Oh, quite straightforward actually, just busy." replied Casper emptying a ladle of soup into Marks bowl. "I liked watching the bread rise. What work are you doing today?"
"We're doing the showers and toilets. I really wish people would remember to flush."
"Okay boys, move it along." A guard told them. Casper and Mark said their goodbyes and Mark went to sit down.
"Who was that?" asked Tom.
"That's Mark, I met him at breakfast yesterday."
"He looks like a gay ginger milhouse" said Tom mocking him.
Casper felt annoyed that Tom would make such harsh statements about people he didn't know. It made Casper wonder if Tom was really a friend or not. They had their lunch once everyone else had eaten, then began the dinner preparations.
Casper spent most of the afternoon peeling potatoes and talking to Tom. The conversation continued and Casper learnt more things about Tom, like how he had an 11-month-old baby son with his girlfriend back in Newcastle, and they would come and visit every month.
"They're coming again next week, I can't wait" Tom told him. "Toby gets bigger and bigger every time I see him now, it's crazy. He'll be bigger than me in no time!" laughed Tom.
"That's so cute." said Casper. He loved babies and hoped to become a father himself one day.
Towards the end of the shift, Tom invited Casper back to his cell after work to come and hang out with him and his friends. Casper had initially planned to visit the library after work, then go back to his cell for an early night, but figured maybe he could make time to go and hang out with Tom and his friends after the library instead. Holly had told him that he needed to find a group for protection after all.
Work finally came to an end after dinner service and Casper headed to the library. It was located on the second floor of the cell block just down the hall from his cell. When he stepped in, it was peacefully quiet, as a library should be. It was the first time he was able to hear his own breath since stepping off the prison bus. The room had several shelves on the left and some tables to the right. At the back was a big window that looked out into the snow-covered countryside beyond the fence. One prisoner was sitting reading at the tables and two others sat staring out of the window.
"Hello." a voice caught him off-guard. Casper turned and saw a woman in her 60's standing behind the desk. She had long grey hair, black glasses and wore a burgundy cardigan and long green skirt. If she isn't the librarian, I'll eat my pants he thought. "Hi." he replied awkwardly.
"Can I help you with anything."
"Yeah, do you um.... have a history section by any chance?"
"Certainly!" she pointed at the shelves with a pen in her hand. "Fifth row on the right there, its marked with a big label, alright pet?"
"Thank you".
"No bother."
Casper looked at the other shelves as he walked past. The first shelf had items such as CD'S, DVD'S and cassette tapes, he thought he would look at them later. The next shelves were all books in various categories: Romance, Crime, Horror, Autobiographical, and Non-fiction. It felt nostalgic to be back in a library again, it had been his favourite activity to go there with his mum. She had read to him since he was a baby, and it sparked his interest in literature early on. As a result, he excelled in primary school when it came to reading, spelling, and writing.
As a child, he formed a small book club consisting of him, his mum, and his teddies, and they would meet every week to discuss the title they were engrossed in at the time. He remembered his mum telling him that while there were a lot of amazing books and authors in the world, the best one of all time was the Bible, with the 'Most-High' being the perfect author. Since coming back to Glasgow after the war, the only books he was able to get a hold of were ones he obtained from expeditions with the thieves. A lot of the time they were very random, such as '10 Steps to Financial Stability and Freedom' by HJ O'donnel, 'Society and Order in Pre-Colombian Central and South America' by AR Hastings, 'Intifada My Life as a Hamas Militant' by Abdul Haddad, and 'Elisa's First Visit to the Dentist' by Pamela ward. He was excited now to have a choice of books to read.
'History'. The sign stood boldly at the end of the shelf. He hoped he could find what he was looking for. A quick scan revealed the subsection he needed, European History. Brilliant, he thought. He carefully scanned the titles one by one, 'Wars of Austrian Succession', 'The Russian Revolution', 'The Vikings', 'The Black Death', he was approaching the end of the section. He felt the disappointment setting in until his eyes caught it, 'Ireland, a History'. "Bingo!" Casper exclaimed to himself. He picked it up and read the blurb, the author seemed to have good credentials and he settled with it.
Now, he was free to look at what he wanted. He spent the next while looking at the different categories and genres, there was so much that stood out that he felt he needed to write a list. At the back of the library were stationary items for sale. Pens, pencils, notepads, sketchbooks, and only five points each! He was thrilled! He could journal and draw again, with a proper choice of implements. He figured he would only borrow one book at a time and decided to leave before the continuous choices of books overwhelmed him.
At the counter, he presented the book and his card to the librarian. She scanned it and looked at her computer screen. "Casper Higgins. You have a total of zero points. Are you new here?"
Casper was worried. Did he need points to borrow books? Would he get punished for trying to borrow a book without points?
"Yeah, I am. It's my third day." he told her.
The librarian looked at him over her glasses. "Would you like me to explain the process of how our library works?" she asked.
Casper nodded. "Okay, so borrowing a book, CD, Cassette or DVD is free. However, the lend period expires after seven days. For every day past the lend expiration date that the item is still in your possession, you will be deducted ten points."
"If you declare that you've lost the item, you will be subject to disciplinary action and will be required to pay the original price of the item equivalent in points. If you lose more than one item, you will be banned."
"You can only borrow two items at a time. Once you return an item you cannot borrow it again for another two weeks. We're open from 3.00pm until lock up."
"Should I state the obvious? ...Please keep quiet in the library at all times. Talking is permitted but do so at a reasonable level. Exceeding the noise level after being verbally warned once will result in disciplinary action and you will not be allowed to return for seven days. Repeat offenders will be banned."
"Okay, thanks for letting me know." said Casper.
The librarian typed on her keyboard. "Not often do we have new inmates visit the library."
Casper smiled, "I'm excited. I love to read."
The librarian smiled back at him. "I do too. I'm Alison by the way. I hope you discover a lot of great reads while you're here".
"I hope so too, thank you."
She handed him back his card and he left. The block was busy as it usually was during communal time. Casper was excited with his new book and decided he would rather read tonight than go visit Tom. He reckoned that he'd understand when he explained it to him tomorrow. It was a short walk down the hall back to the cell. When Casper approached, he noticed that the bars were covered with bedsheets, he was confused. He ducked under the sheets to find Holly tidying up inside.
"Casper! Sorry but Erin is coming over and we're wanting some alone time. Come back later."
"Oh." said Casper disappointed. "When will you be done?"
Holly puffed, "I don't know! We'll be done by lock up. You'll know when I take off the sheets."
"Is this going to be a regular thing?" asked Casper.
"Is it a regular thing that me and my partner are intimate and request a bit of privacy? Yes Casper, yes, it is." said Holly. "Look my last cellmate, Lewis, only stepped in the cell to sleep. I barely saw him, so this was never an issue. But I get it. We should sit down with a schedule to plan when we want exclusive use of the cell, I admit I didn't consider it, sorry. But for tonight would it be too much to ask for you to go somewhere else?"
Casper sighed. "Yeah, it's fine." Erin appeared ducking under the sheets. "Hello" she said sweetly.
"Hey babe!" said Holly embracing her and kissing her on the lips. Erin laughed. "I think that's your queue to go Casper," said Holly.
"Sure, I'll see you later on." Casper put the book on his shelf then left. Guess I'll go see Tom then, he thought.
He went downstairs. Tom told him that his cell was on the ground floor round the corner from the female shower block. He identified the general area and started peaking in some cells, he hoped he didn't come across as nosy. One was empty, the other had two women chatting with each other, another had a guy who was asleep or resting, in the next he saw Tom. He was sitting on the floor drinking a can of juice talking with a skinny ginger haired woman and another guy. Tom caught his eye immediately.
"Casper! Glad you made it, come sit down." He obliged.
The woman smiled at him uncomfortably, as did the other guy. "This is my cellmate Grace and her man Jack."
"Oh, you are a couple?" asked Casper.
Grace laughed gently, "I suppose you could say that." She grabbed Jacks crotch and shook it from side to side. "He belongs to me." Jack moaned slightly. This made Casper uncomfortable but he reckoned it was just their style of banter and went along with it.
"You want a cup of tea or a biscuit?" asked Tom.
"You have tea?"
"Yeah, I saved up and got this kettle at the store. I'm afraid I can only do black tea, there's no milk or sugar."
"Black is fine thanks" Casper assured him. Tom switched on the kettle.
"So, Casper, Tom tells me you were in the kitchen today. How was it?" asked Grace. Her gaze was frightening.
Casper looked away from her and answered. "It wasn't so bad. I used to work in a kitchen before so it felt familiar in a lot of ways."
"I like the kitchen, it's a great opportunity to take what I can." said Grace. She pulled out a packet of biscuits from her pocket and threw it at Casper, it landed on his lap.
"Is this for me?" he asked. Grace grinned at him; Casper was unsure how to feel. "I mean...If it's true that you took this from the kitchen without the guards knowing, I don't think I want it."
"C'mon mate! You wouldn't turn down our hospitality, would you? Also, you're a thief for fuck's sake." Tom told him.
Casper felt uneasy but didn't want any trouble. He opened the packet and began eating the biscuits.
"What did you steal?" asked Grace.
"Food. Mostly. Sometimes other things like clothes and even furniture."
"Have you ever killed anyone?" This question caught Casper off-guard.
"No. Never. I did witness a man getting killed one time, by one of my associates."
"What was it like? How did it happen? Did he struggle? Did he cry for his mum or Jesus or some shit while he was dying?" Casper was horrified by these questions. Why did she want to know these things? Recalling the event made Casper upset.
"He shot one of us while we were robbing him. My associate already had him in her scope. She shot him three times and one shot hit his neck. When I got down there to make the getaway with the rest of them, I saw him briefly. He was still alive and blood was gushing from the wound. That's all I saw; I didn't watch him die."
Grace laughed and kicked him playfully in the foot. "Cry baby!" she said. Tom handed him a cup of tea.
"Thanks" said Casper still uneasy. Tom went over to his bunk and pulled out his bedsheet, he walked over to the entrance and started fitting it over the bars. "Don't want those sods looking in." he said. He came over, sat back down, and the conversation continued.
"You're cute Casper, a lot cuter than Tom gave you credit for." said Grace
"I don't know, this guy was getting mesmerised by watching bread bake, bit weird if you ask me." said Tom.
Casper usually felt happy and overjoyed when someone complimented him, but this was different. Something about the way Grace told him this was just creepy. Also, he didn't expect Tom to put him down like that, especially given that he had caught on to the magic and wonder Casper had experienced watching the loaves rise. Despite this, Casper tried to mingle with them, but couldn't shake off the fact that something was off. Grace was asking him a lot of inappropriate and uncomfortable questions and the relationship between her and Jack seemed questionable. Jack hadn't even said a word since Casper arrived, he only interacted when Grace would look at him or touch him. Casper saw fear in his eyes. He knew something was wrong and he wanted to leave.
"I think I'd like to go back to my cell now if that's okay." he said. The room went silent.
"Surely you don't need to leave just yet?" Tom told him.
"Actually, I just want to get back and lay down. It's been a long day."
"C'mon Casper, stay for a bit longer. I'll make you another cup of tea." Tom said grabbing his arm. Grace smiled at him sadistically. Casper felt the fear rise up inside him. His voice became shaky.
"Am I...not allowed to?" Silence.
Casper's fight or flight response kicked in and he jolted trying to leap on to his feet for the exit, but Tom was too strong and pulled him back down. He placed his hand over Casper's mouth while Grace and Jack got to their feet. Jack helped Tom restrain him and tied a rag into his mouth, then Grace kicked him in the balls. The shock of pain along with the terror of what was happening was unbearable. His balls were squashed between her foot and the chastity device when she kicked, he burst out crying through his gag.
"Shh!" whispered Grace with her finger to her mouth standing menacingly over him. She slowly pulled a knife out of her pocket and played with it in her hand. She looked at it as if she was inspecting it turning it over.
"I got this from the chapel, quite fitting, isn't it? All I did was snap a small bit off the bottom of one of the plastic chairs, then sharpened it really well. Wanna see?"
She lifted one end of her mattress off her bunk so Casper could see, and cut it underneath. It glided through the surface like butter and foam poked out. Casper was frozen in terror.
"I've not tried it on a person yet, I wonder if it'll cut as easy as that on flesh. Shall we find out?" Grace smiled.
Casper struggled and shrieked through his gag, but Tom and Jack held his arms behind him firmly. Grace stepped over to Casper and placed herself on top of him putting her hand on his cheek, she looked into his eyes and giggled.
"Aww, you're even cuter when you're scared. Tom told me all about you Casper and I had to see for myself. He did a great job picking you out for me. So pretty and fragile. Lemme tell you something, from now on, you're my property, you will answer to me only, speak only when I speak to you, and carry out my every demand. Understand?"
Casper nodded in terror. "Good boy." she said seductively.
She laughed then slowly brought the knife against his cheek. He could feel the blade. He clenched his tear-filled eyes shut.
"Your first task is to get me one-hundred points. You owe me as much for the tea and biscuits wouldn't you say?"
Casper nodded through his gag whimpering. "Brilliant!"
She pulled out her card from her pocket then dropped it on to his lap.
"I'm going to tell you what's going to happen now. You're going to take my card there and earn one-hundred points, because on Sunday evening, at let's say half past seven, me, Tom, and Jack will pay you a visit and I'll get my card back. When we come you better hope there's one-hundred points on it, because if you're not there, or you don't have the points, I'm going to punish you with this wee toy of mine."
Grace poked the point of the knife against Caspers cheek, he whimpered again loudly.
"Hmm, maybe not the face though. You're too pretty." said Grace.
She lifted up his uniform top and placed the knife to his ribs, "Maybe here. I wonder, if I opened you here, would I be able to see some of your organs through the cut? That could be fun." She looked down to his genitals. "Ooh, or maybe even down there! Ah, I feel a little spoiled for choice. I'll make up my mind by Sunday though."
Casper looked into her eyes, he remembered in Sunday school being taught about demons and how to prevent being targeted by them. He didn't believe they were real until today. He couldn't believe this was happening to him, he'd never felt so terrified in his life. Was this a nightmare? Did he die and end up in Hell without realising it? At this point it was hard to tell.
"Anyway" Grace continued. "You said you needed to get back, so I won't keep you. I'll see you on Sunday"
She smiled at him sweetly. Tom let him go and Casper stood up. He pulled the gag off and rushed out.
Erin laid her head on Holly's chest while Holly stroked her hair, it was her favourite place to be. They both lay naked under the duvet and were in a great mood.
"I really liked what you did there, that was a nice wee surprise." Holly told her, they both giggled.
"Thanks, I wondered if you would like it or not. Glad you did." Erin assured her.
Holly sighed. "I'm getting out six months after you. I don't know how I'm going to manage." Erin looked her in the eyes.
"I'll come visit a lot. Don't worry."
"Yeah," Holly laughed, "But there'll be no sex. I don't know how I'm going to manage."
"Aw, you'll manage. You waited 29 years to find me, right? I think you can go six months. Then we can pick up where we left off."
"I mean, I did have sex with other people in those 29 years Erin. Though I wish you were my first."
"I'm glad you were mine." Erin smiled at her, and they kissed.
Casper stormed in startling them both.
"Casper, fuck off!" hissed Holly pulling the duvet up over Erin's head past her breasts. Casper collapsed into his bunk face first and started screaming into his pillow. Holly was angry that he came into the cell, but was now concerned for him too, she didn't know what to do.
"Casper what's happened? Are you okay?" she asked.
He kept screaming into the pillow. Shit thought Holly. She climbed out of the bed and quickly put on her knickers and uniform top, then went over to him.
"Casper look at me! What's happened!?"
Erin looked over with concern. She was sad that Casper seemed so upset. He couldn't stop crying. Holly knelt next to him and put her arm over him.
"Hey, hey, man c'mon. Look I'm here. Do you need something?"
Erin stood up with the duvet pulled around her. She went over to him and put her arm on him too.
"Poor Casper." she said.
"Get dressed Erin!" said Holly. "Casper look at me!"
He turned to look at her still hyperventilating and crying. She looked into his eyes earnestly.
"Tell me what happened."
It took him a minute to calm down but slowly and surely he began to speak. He told holly and Erin everything, about how he met Tom then Grace and what they did to him. Holly looked back at him in shock and anger. His account made Erin so upset she started to cry as well. When he was done no one could speak.
"Fuck." said Holly after staring blankly at the ground. "Grace is literally the worst person in here. She kidnapped a girl from her college and tortured her for three days. That bitch! She recruits new boys to be her victims and foot soldiers. I'm sure Satan himself probably looks under the bed for her. Casper this is fucked. Like beyond fucked. I should have warned you. I'm sorry." Casper was still shaking.
"Should I tell one of the guards?" he said.
"NO!" hissed Holly. "The last thing you want to be in here is a grass. You'll just dig your hole deeper. Listen to me Casper, under no circumstances do you tell a guard shit. They're not our friends."
Casper kept crying. Holly sighed. She got up sat next to him and put her arms around him. Erin held his hand. "You need to stop being such a cry-baby too."
"Holly. That's not nice. He's sad and needs to cry." said Erin.
"I know Erin but there are a lot of people in here that'll take advantage when they see someone like this."
Holly noticed the Irish history book that was on Caspers shelf. She looked at it for a minute, "Casper, did you get that book because of what Louise said to you earlier?" He nodded.
"She was upset and the least I could do was try to understand her background and why she feels the way she does. Maybe there's something I'm missing and hopefully we can see eye to eye after I educate myself."
Holly was amazed, she knew then that Casper was a good person. "From now on Casper you can hang out with us during meal and com time. You need allies and I can tell you're a good guy. We'll keep you safe."
"I knew it." said Erin. "I could tell Casper was good from when I saw him."
"What am I going to do about Grace though?" sobbed Casper. Holly looked away in anger again.
"Do you still have her card?" Holly asked. Casper nodded and gave it to her. Holly inspected it then snapped it in half. Casper and Erin gasped. "She can stick her one-hundred points up her arse. That bitch is going down!"
- Casper felt a pang of guilt as he recalled Holly's story, his hand still clasping the chastity cage, the metal cold against his skin.
- Holly's voice was filled with anger as she questioned Casper, "Why can't you have any self-control?!" Her words echoed in his mind, reminding him of the cage that was still worryingly tight around him.
- As Casper listened to Holly's tale of horror, he felt a strange mix of sadness and resentment towards men. The chastity cage felt like a cruel reminder of his own masculinity and its flaws.