Wow, National Improv Day is Here!
"Feeling bored with the same old playlist of songs on your pop radio station? Tune in to Holy Mackerel Sunday Music with the God Show, and prepare to have your religious fervor shaken. Praise Jesus and load your weapons!
"By the way, this is Robin Billions and today is National Improvisation Day. We encourage you to play with your food, engage in foolish disputes, and generally make it up as you go.
"We'll be receiving phone calls from individuals who want to engage in improvisation with our team at W Uh-Oh (that's W-U-H-O-H). For some of these interviews, we'll be using video."
"Our phone is already ringing. Good morning, W Uh-Oh on the line. How can we assist you today?"
"You can't. I'm calling from the space shuttle, and everything is fine at the moment."
"It's nice to hear from you. Could you turn the camera on so that our audience can see you?"
"Certainly."
A man appears in front of the shuttle's controls.
"Great. We can see you. May I ask a question?"
"Sure."
"Okay, it's somewhat private."
"Alright. Everyone is curious about how we use the restroom in zero gravity."
"TMI. I want to know how you jerk off in zero gravity. Do there have to be any special procedures, and do astronauts have actual sex with one another? If so, how do you do it?"
"I don't know if I can respond to your inquiries. I might jeopardize my employment."
"Well, they can't actually fire you until you return to Earth."
"You have a solid point. Let's activate the camera."
"Hello, Officer Sally Bumpers. Come sit on my lap."
"Sure, boss."
Sally enters the frame with an inappropriate outfit for a space officer - cleavage exposed and perspiration on her chest. She sits on Sarge's lap and fidgets.
"Sarge, you didn't warn me you were already hard."
"Uh, Sally, you're on a long-distance prank call with Station W Uh-Oh on Earth."
Sally faces the camera and unsuccessfully attempts to cover up.
"Hello, folks on Earth. This is Officer Sally Bumpers."
Her image starts moving up and down.
"Sarge, cut it out!"
"Why? We're in hot water already. Might as well have some fun."
"It's difficult to focus."
"You don't have to. The ship is on autopilot."
"Ah, of course."
Sally continues moving up and down, with a few sex sounds.
Sarge says into the camera, "To answer your question, this is one of the many positions that work. My friend and I refer to it as 'Ride Sally Ride,' though you may recognize it as Reverse Cowgirl. We always use condoms because cleaning up after an accident is a nightmare."
Sally starts moaning and then screams, "I'm coming!"
Sarge states, "Sometimes it's advantageous that no one can hear you scream in space."
Sally yells, "Shut up, Sarge!"
"Make me!"
Sally kisses him and the screen goes dark.
The image returns, and we can see the announcer, Robin Billions, again.
"Hello, everyone. I didn't anticipate that. Did you? However, when you're improvising and saying 'yes' to everything that arises, you never know what can happen."
"The phone is flashing again. We're back from outer space, and here's our next caller."
"Good morning, W Uh-Oh on the line. How can I help you?"
"Hi, beautiful. It's Maria, the girl you picked up at the bar last night."
"I referred to you not to contact me at work!"
"I understand, honey, but I just had to hear your seductive voice again."
"Not now, Maria!"
"That's not what you claimed last night."
"Maria, might you get me discharged?"
"That depends. Anyway, I have a question."
"A genuine question?"
"Yes."
"Alright. What is it?"
"Men frequently leave the toilet seat up. Why is this?"
"An intriguing question. Here's another: Why do so many women prefer the toilet seat down?"
"I can respond to that."
"Really?"
"Absolutely. It's particularly crucial at night. A sleepy woman who needs to urinate does not want to check if the seat is down before sitting down. Imagine the shock of being suddenly awakened by COLD porcelain."
"I wouldn't care for that at all."
"Of course not."
"Marie, let's speak after my show is complete."
"I'd like that. Farewell."
"Good morning, W Uh-Oh. How can I assist you?"
"I have an answer for you."
"Fine." [```
"Hey there. It's me, Maria at work."
"Oh, hey Maria! I thought I told you to give me a call once I'm off the air."
"I know, I know. But you always sound so entertaining, I figure I'd warm you up for the rest of the day with a hot question."
"A hot question, huh? Hit me with it."
"If two people have a great time together, would it be even better if a third person joined them?"
"Sure, let's ask the folks at home for some opinions."
"Fine by me, Robin. I'm out."
"Big character here. Bye, Maria."
As the conversation continued on-air, Robin welcomed more calls to discuss the potential enhancement of a couple's interaction by adding an additional guest.
